You Are Not Failing. You Are Running on Empty.
You just had a baby. Or you are about to. And right now, everything feels like too much.
Maybe it is the crying. Maybe it is yours. Maybe you cannot sleep even though the baby is sleeping. Maybe you are having thoughts that scare you. Maybe you feel disconnected from your partner, your baby, or yourself. Maybe you are angry in ways you have never been angry before.
Let me be real with you: perinatal mental health is real. It is not weakness. It is not poor parenting. It is not something you can yoga or meditate your way out of.
And you do not have to go through it alone.
What You Might Be Experiencing
Perinatal mental health covers pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period. It is not just one condition. It is many. And they show up differently for every person.
Postpartum Depression (PPD)
This is more than baby blues. You might feel:
- Deep sadness that does not lift
- Inability to feel joy, even about your baby
- Exhaustion that sleep does not fix
- Hopelessness about your future
- Difficulty bonding with your baby
- Guilt that you are “supposed” to be happy
PPD is not your fault. It is a medical condition involving hormones, brain chemistry, and life change. It is treatable.
Postpartum Anxiety (PPA)
Anxiety after birth shows up as:
- Racing thoughts and constant worry
- Panic attacks that feel like they come out of nowhere
- Physical symptoms: heart racing, sweating, shortness of breath
- Intrusive thoughts about your baby’s safety
- Inability to relax or sleep even when you can
- Obsessive checking (is the baby breathing? Is the house safe?)
Anxiety is often missed because people expect depression. Anxiety is just as real. Just as treatable.
Postpartum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
This is not the organization kind. Postpartum OCD involves:
- Unwanted, intrusive thoughts about harm coming to your baby
- Intense anxiety that follows these thoughts
- Rituals or compulsions you do to “prevent” the harm
- Shame and secrecy because you cannot tell anyone what you are thinking
The thoughts are not a reflection of who you are. They are a symptom. They respond to treatment.
Postpartum Rage
You might call it irritability. But when you find yourself yelling at your partner for the way he is holding the bottle, or feeling furious at your baby for crying, that is postpartum rage.
It includes:
- Explosive anger at small things
- Feeling out of control
- Guilt after you explode
- Fear that you are a bad parent
- Shame that you feel this way
Rage is a hormonal and neurobiological response. It is not a character flaw. It is a signal.
Birth Trauma
Birth does not always go the way you planned. Sometimes it goes very wrong.
You might have experienced:
- Emergency interventions or C-section
- Loss of bodily autonomy during labor
- Medical trauma or pain
- Feeling unheard or unsupported by your care team
- Fetal complications or NICU time
Birth trauma shows up as intrusive memories, hypervigilance, avoidance, and re-experiencing symptoms similar to PTSD. It is treated the same way.
Prenatal Anxiety and Depression
Perinatal does not start at birth. It starts in pregnancy.
Prenatal anxiety looks like:
- Constant worry about the baby’s health
- Obsessive thoughts about miscarriage or complications
- Physical symptoms of anxiety
- Difficulty focusing on anything else
- Sleep disruption even before the baby arrives
Prenatal depression includes:
- Low mood and hopelessness about pregnancy
- Loss of interest in things you normally enjoy
- Fatigue beyond normal pregnancy tiredness
- Difficulty imagining your future as a parent
These are real and treatable during pregnancy.
Infertility Grief and Loss
Perinatal mental health also includes the grief of not becoming pregnant when you want to.
Infertility trauma shows up as:
- Grief and loss following miscarriage
- Ongoing trauma from failed cycles
- Complicated feelings about adoption or other paths to parenthood
- Anxiety and depression tied to fertility struggles
- Identity and relationship strain
Your grief is valid. Your loss is real. You deserve support.
NICU Trauma and Unexpected Complications
When your baby goes to the NICU or has unexpected health complications:
- You are separated from your baby during a critical bonding time
- You are frightened and helpless
- You are managing medical jargon and scary decisions
- You are isolated from normal new parent experience
- You come home with your baby but carrying trauma
NICU stays are traumatic. What you feel is not an overreaction. It is a normal response to an abnormal situation.
Identity Loss and the Postpartum Identity Crisis
Becoming a parent is a profound identity shift. You might feel:
- Loss of your pre-parent self
- Grief about your career or personal pursuits
- Resentment toward your partner
- Confusion about who you are now
- Fear that you will never feel like yourself again
This is not temporary. It is deep. And it deserves attention.
This Is Not Just a Mother’s Issue
Here is what nobody talks about: fathers and non-birthing partners experience perinatal mental health challenges too.
Paternal Postpartum Depression
Yes, it is real. Partners can experience postpartum depression with rates between 4 and 25 percent. It looks like:
- Low mood and withdrawal
- Loss of interest in the relationship or parenting
- Irritability and anger
- Sleep problems (beyond just being woken by the baby)
- Hopelessness about your role as a parent
Partner Anxiety
You are watching your partner struggle. Maybe she is anxious or depressed. And you feel:
- Helpless and unable to fix it
- Anxious about whether she is okay
- Resentful that the load feels one-sided
- Disconnected because she has pulled away
- Unsure how to support her without overstepping
There is a myth that partners do not struggle with perinatal issues. You are supposed to be the stable one. That is false. You are allowed to struggle. You deserve space to address it.
The 6-to-18 Month Gap
Here is one of the most dangerous windows in mental health that nobody talks about: the six to 18 month postpartum period.
In those first six weeks, you might get screened for depression. Your partner might be home. Family might be helping.
Then six weeks pass. Everyone goes back to their regular lives. The formal postpartum care ends. And you are left alone with a baby who is not sleeping, teething, or hitting developmental milestones that feel overwhelming.
This is when depression and anxiety peak.
Nobody asks how you are doing anymore. You are “supposed” to be fine by now.
Do not tough it out. The six to 18 month window is when therapy or coaching makes the biggest difference.
For High-Achieving Parents
If you are high-achieving, you might think you should be able to handle this on your own.
You probably managed your pregnancy like a project. You read the books. You took the classes. You researched the hospitals.
Then the baby came. And no amount of planning could prepare you for the biological, emotional, and relational earthquake.
You did everything right, and it still was not enough. That is not failure. That is just what postpartum is.
Success without connection is just loneliness with better furniture. You cannot achieve your way out of perinatal depression or anxiety. You have to process it.
That is not weakness. That is wisdom.
My Approach
I am a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC) and Certified Perinatal Mental Health Specialist. I have been working with postpartum families for nearly 20 years.
I specialize in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, trauma-informed care, and somatic work. That means I do not just talk about your thoughts. I work with your body and your nervous system too.
I use The Pass Go Regulation Method™ with perinatal clients. Here is what that means:
Regulate. Your nervous system is dysregulated. You might feel anxious, numb, or rageful. We work on calming your body first. This is not about willpower. It is about actual nervous system work.
Repair. Perinatal struggles affect your relationships. You might be disconnected from your partner or struggling to bond with your baby. We work on repairing those connections.
Reconnect. We build daily practices that help you feel present, safe, and connected again. This is ongoing work, not a quick fix.
I also work with your partner or support person. Perinatal recovery is not a solo event. It is a family event.
Therapy vs. Coaching for New Parents
Therapy is for when you have a diagnosable condition like postpartum depression, anxiety, OCD, or trauma. Therapy is medical in nature. It is reimbursable by some insurance.
Coaching is for when you are functioning but struggling. You want tools and strategies. You want to process the identity shift of becoming a parent.
You can have both. If you are unsure, reach out for a consultation. We will talk through what you are experiencing and recommend the right path.
How It Works
Step 1: Reach Out. Send me an email, call, or fill out the contact form. I will respond within 24 hours.
Step 2: 15-Minute Consultation. We will have a free, no-pressure call. I will listen and recommend either therapy or coaching.
Step 3: Your First Session. 90 minutes. Full intake. You will leave with clarity and a plan.
Step 4: Ongoing Support. Weekly or bi-weekly sessions. 60 minutes. Virtual, secure, HIPAA-compliant.
Book Your Free 15-Minute Consultation
Frequently Asked Questions
Will you report what I tell you to my doctor or partner?
No. What you tell me is confidential with very limited exceptions (imminent risk of harm). I will never contact your doctor or partner without your explicit permission.
What if I am having scary thoughts about harming my baby or myself?
This is what I am trained for. Intrusive thoughts are a symptom of postpartum OCD, anxiety, and depression. They do not mean you want to hurt anyone. Call me immediately at 202-743-0072 or go to your nearest emergency room.
Can I do therapy while I am still pregnant?
Absolutely. Prenatal anxiety and depression are common and very treatable.
I am a dad. Is this for me?
Yes. Completely. Partners struggle with perinatal mental health too, and you deserve support.
How long does therapy take?
Some people see significant improvement in six to eight sessions. Others work through deeper issues for months. We check in regularly.
What if I cannot afford therapy?
I accept BCBS for individual therapy. I provide superbills for out-of-network reimbursement. HSA and FSA accounts are accepted.